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Harness the Power of Conscious Intention
by Beth Banning and Neill Gibson
Have you ever walked away from a situation wondering why it went so completely different than you had hoped? Do you ever avoid having an important conversation for fear it may end in disaster? If so, please read on.
We find that most conversations go off-track when a person's intention is running on autopilot.
Whether you know it or not, you always have an intention. Your intention motivates your actions, and your actions determine the quality of your success--and ultimately the quality of your life. When your intention is on autopilot, it leaves your actions governed entirely by your past conditioning and unquestioned beliefs--a recipe for disaster.
On the other hand, when you have a conscious intention you know exactly what you want and why you want it. This clarity puts you in charge of choosing only those actions that will get you more of what you do want, and less of what you don't want.
If this is true, how much better would your relationships and your life be if you knew how to avoid autopilot malfunctions? You can do this by learning a uniquely effective formula for crafting conscious intentions that almost guarantee your conversations will stay on track. With these skills in hand, you will be back on course creating the quality of connection and cooperation you've always hoped for.
In this special report we answer the 7 most important questions about creating a conscious intention, and how this will help you experience more of what you want in life--with much less stress in the process. And this brings us to the first question.
What is a Conscious Intention?
If every action is motivated by an intention, this makes it important to understand just what intention is.
We define intention this way: What is important to a person in the moment that motivates them to act in specific ways as they attempt to create specific outcomes.
We believe most disappointments that people experience result from a lack of clarity about what's most important to them in relation to what they want. Instead, people tend to focus on what they don't want, and this leaves them with no clear path to follow, no obvious actions to take.
When someone goes over what they don't want again and again in their mind, they usually end up with more and more of what they don't want (which causes them to spend even more time thinking about it).
Does this pattern sound familiar to you? How much time and energy do you spend on this mental Merry-Go-Round? Here's an important question to ask yourself: How do you feel during those times you're focusing on what you don't want?
A conscious intention is when you identify what is most important to you at a very deep level. This is the only way you can choose actions that are in harmony with what you value. Once you've crafted a conscious intention, suddenly you'll have new ideas and see new paths forward. Learning to switch your focus to what you do want is the quickest way off the "don't want" Merry-Go-Round.
In our experience, the best way to start focusing on what you do want is to learn how to create a conscious, strategy-free, values-based intention. This leads us to the next question.
Why Set a Conscious Intention?
As we said before, if our intention directs our actions toward an outcome, and our actions create the quality of our life, then it's probably quite important to create our intentions consciously.
As an example, imagine you're at a party and you start talking to a group of people, then someone interrupts you. Now let's say you don't have a conscious intention about the quality of relationships you'd like to create with people. So at that moment you have no other choice than to react from your past experiences and unconscious beliefs.
What might your next thoughts be? Maybe something like: "That was rude," "They must only care about themselves," "I guess what I have to say doesn't matter to them," and so on.
At this point your unconscious mind automatically generates an intention. It may be to: "get your point across," "teach them a lesson," "make sure they know what you have to say matters," and so on.
Now remember, your intention is what directs your actions toward an outcome.
With any of these intentions, what do you think you would do next (your actions)?
You might: speak louder than them, make a sarcastic remark, walk away, etc.
How might people be or what might happen next if you take any of those actions?
Now imagine this same situation, but this time you had already created a conscious intention about your relationships. Your intention is to create more connection, compassion, and happiness with people.
With this conscious intention you now have choices that you didn't have before.
So again, you're talking in a group and someone interrupts you. You stop and choose how you will respond from your conscious intention that will support creating more connection, compassion, and happiness with others.
With this intention what do you think you would do next (your actions)?
You might: take a deep breath, express how you are, consider what's important to them that had them interrupt, etc.
How might people be or what might happen next if you take these actions?
Setting an intention isn't about pulling your hair out worrying how you're going to remember your conscious intention or twisting your arm to choose the "right" thing to do.
Instead, having a conscious intention creates choices about how you'll act that you would not otherwise have. This reduces your stress level and helps you become more successful at getting what you truly want.
This process starts by discovering what you deeply desire in each relationship, situation, or area of your life. Then you follow a few simple steps to set your intention about each of these. Once you've done this, you'll start getting what you want more easily and spontaneously.
Creating conscious intentions is a powerful tool you can use to set your desires in motion--and it takes only a few minutes each day.
Would you like to know how to do this? If so, it's important you understand the difference between why you want what you want, and the actions you'll take to get it. This brings us to question number three.
What's the Difference Between a Goal, a Strategy, and an Intention?
A goal is a result that one is attempting to achieve. Most goals include specifics such as what you want and by when you want to have it.
A strategy is a very specific plan aimed at getting what you want, or avoiding what you don't want. Strategies always include specifics, such as: who, what, when, where, or how (though not necessarily all of these).
On the other hand, a conscious, strategy-free, values-based intention ONLY expresses what you value or the qualities of life you want to experience. Nothing more.
So what's wrong with goals and strategies?
Not a thing, we LOVE them. Just not yet--not until after you've created your intention.
The downside of settling on a particular strategy before you create a conscious intention is that it's like putting blinders on: you can only see one path to get from where you are to where you want to go. It limits your view.
A particular strategy may get you to your goal, or it may not, but when you only see one way forward, you tend to become very attached to it happening just the way you've imagined it.
Well, sometimes strategies work, and sometimes they don't. (And sometimes they work and you wish they hadn't.)
We've found it's much more effective to start by getting clear about what's most important to you--why you are heading down this path in the first place. Without this, it's easy to lose sight of the many other ways you might be able to get what you want--strategies that may be just over the horizon or outside of your limited view.
Understanding what you value, and the qualities of life you want to experience in a situation, opens the door to a wealth of possible strategies.
With a conscious intention you are focusing on what you do want. This makes it much more likely you'll choose strategies and take actions that are in harmony with what you value. And as we are fond of saying: What you focus your attention on grows.
You can see how this works as we answer the next question.
How Do You Create a Conscious Intention?
First, think of a relationship or an area of your life where you are not entirely satisfied. You can create an intention for your relationships, your health, your appearance, your job or finances, your possessions, or anything else.
For our purposes, we suggest you choose a relationship where you would enjoy having more cooperation. So pick a relationship and fill in the blank in the next sentence:
I choose to create a conscious intention for my relationship with:
______________________________
Now follow the steps below and create a conscious intention that will help guide your future actions.
The first step is to identify the qualities you want to experience in this relationship--especially those you want to experience more of
--then you'll write these qualities down. These will form the basis of your intention. You'll want to form your intention in the present tense and use positive language.
Here are some examples: "I intend to experience more caring and consideration in my relationship with Kerry." or "I intend to create a relationship of connection and fun with my sister."
Notice that these intentions are expressed as values, or qualities of life.
Don't frame your intention in terms of what you don't want or use negative language. Avoid sentences like, "I want to feel sad less often." or "I don't want to argue with my sister anymore."
Here are 3 simple steps you can use for Creating a Conscious Intention:
Step 1 - Imagining My Perfect World:
Get a blank piece of paper and write at the top:
"My intention:"
Now visualize your perfect world in this situation. Build a crystal-clear mental picture of the end result you want.
During this visualization, answer these questions:
In other words, describe how you would like it to be. Describe your perfect world with as much detail as you can. Use as much paper as you need to get clear about this.
Step 2 - Discovering My Values:
Once you have this description--feel it. Close your eyes, and imagine everything you just wrote about. See it in your mind's eye. Identify the emotions you'll feel when you experience your desired outcome.
When you imagine what you want, your perfect world may appear visually or you may hear it as a description in your mind. Any way this occurs to you is great. Let the feelings of having what you really want bubble up in you.
While you enjoy those feelings, ask yourself, "What would I experience?" or "How would I be if this was my reality?"
Then open your eyes and, using your Values List as a guide, write down the value words that best reflect your perfect world. Number these words in order of importance to you, starting with the word you feel most strongly about as #1 and so on until you get to the word you feel least strongly about.
____________________________________
Step 3 - Creating My Intention:
Take the value words you numbered as #1, #2, and #3 from the list above and write them in the spaces in the following statement.
My intention in this situation is to create greater
_________________, _________________,
and _________________ for everyone involved.
(Remember, everyone includes you!)
That's it! You've just created your first values-based, strategy-free intention. As you stay conscious of this intention in your relationship, keep your eyes open for miracles.
Now that you have your intention we're ready for the next question.
Do Intentions Really Improve Relationships?
We believe this is absolutely the quickest way to experience more of what you want in any relationship. You can do this with people who've never heard of "intention," and even people with whom you're in conflict. They don't have to be willing participants in order for your intention to have a positive effect.
When crafting your conscious intention you include the qualities that are missing for you in the relationship. As an example: "My intention in this situation is to create cooperation, caring, and honesty in my relationship with Ron."
Write this down. Carry it with you. Be sure to read it if you know you're going to be meeting with Ron. Since whatever you focus your attention on grows, you might notice that you start being more caring and honest with him. Or find yourself telling him that you want more honesty in your relationship. You may even start noticing opportunities to build greater cooperation.
But remember, this is not about getting the other person to change. It's about you experiencing more of what you want in your life. And the more you practice living from your intention, the more you are guaranteed to experience what you value.
It can't help but work this way.
But it's also true that people tend to respond in the same manner they're being treated. So don't be surprised if after you start treating Ron with greater caring and honesty that he may just start responding in kind.
"Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means."
~ Albert Einstein
This brings us to another important question.
How Can You Make an Intention Even More Powerful?
The simple answer is: focus more attention on it.
One way to do this is to spend a few minutes every day reading your intention out loud. Two of the best times to do this are when you get up and again just before you go to bed.
Reading your intention out loud at the beginning and the end of each day keeps them at the forefront of your mind. The more often you read your intention, the more likely you'll notice opportunities to take actions that are in harmony with it. The more present you are to it, the more likely you will find ways to experience what you want in your life.
You can also create a practice of interrupting negative thoughts that run counter to your intention, such as: "This will never work," "They'll never change," or "I'll never be able to have what I want."
Whenever you notice one of these thoughts, gently remind yourself to focus on what you do want--your intention.
Another thing you can do is form a support group. We know some people who meet weekly or monthly and read their intentions out loud to the group. Then they brainstorm strategies they might use to help them experience more of what they want more quickly.
(And although Conscious Intenders Anonymous may sound catchy, you may not want to have CIA as your group's initials. ;-)
Whatever you choose to do, just remember: what you focus your attention on grows. And this brings us to our final question.
Do Intentions Really Work?
They do for us, but that's not what's really important. Try them out and see for yourself!
Pick a few relationships in your life where you would like to see improvement, and write down the qualities you want to experience, beginning with the words:
"My intention in this situation is to create. . ."
Make sure you follow the guidelines we've given here and express what you do want in the present tense and in positive language.
Every day for a month, take a few minutes to read your intention out loud. Carry it with you. Read it again if your attention turns to what you don't want. Don't be surprised if your life starts to change almost effortlessly for the better. Then let us know when it does.
What questions do you have about this Special Report?
What did the idea of Creating Conscious Intentions bring up
for you?
For more information, to sign up for our eZine or enroll in our free thought-provoking and motivational Weekly Action Tips eMail series at:
www.FocusedAttention.com
Phone: 619-421-4413
Email:
(c) 2007, Focused Attention, Inc.
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